Tea Time With Kstar

Inspiring teens to want better,
Live better,
And strive higher.

Let’s talk about the “teenage image”, what teens wear, how they act, and what they say. Even though these things seem small and unnoticeable, you’d be surprised to know how many people are analyzing you. The way you carry yourself as a young adult could be the deciding factor of being seen as a troubled, or as a mature teen. Television portrays teenagers as moody, troublesome, dramatic, and difficult. Even though that can be true it doesn’t have to be.

Kids and teenagers are ruder and wilder and more irresponsible than ever before. This is the conclusion that could be drawn from a recent national study by a public policy research organization based in New York. The study, titled “Kids These Days: What Americans Really Think about the Next Generation”.

90% of the respondents said youngsters have failed to learn values.  Only 12% of the 2,000 adults surveyed said it was common for children to treat people with respect. Only 12%?  That’s not a lot. Now 46% of kids in the U.S come from good homes but this means teens from good homes still act out. When you’re out of your parents’ sight, for example; school or just hanging out, you should still behave as if they were there with you. Acting wild in front of strangers doesn’t only make you look bad but it also makes your parents look like they don’t know how to parent you. Remember, you’re a representation of your parents. And, someone is always watching.

Sometimes teens take on the traits of the people who are in their lives on a daily basis. This isn’t always a good thing.  Some teenagers may have the wrong friends and they will start to act like them. Or, they will do things that will make them seem “cool” to their friends. Teenagers aren’t always at fault for how they act. That’s right!  I’m talking about you Mom and Dad. It’s your job to help your child grow into the amazing person they were meant to be. Some people say it’s not good to be a helicopter parent, but let’s look at the definition of helicopter parent.

Hel·i·cop·ter par·ent
Plural noun: helicopter parents
a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.

Parents believe that you shouldn’t have to “hover over” your children. But, there’s a difference between hovering and smothering. As a parent it’s your job to keep your child safe.  That’s what you agreed to when you had them. That includes monitoring them and who they hang out with. Most parents don’t notice a change in their child’s behavior because they aren’t giving them enough face time.  This doesn’t mean you need to try and act like a hip teenager.  You don’t have to hang out with your teen more.  It just means you need to ask them how their day was at school, and actually listen. Or, just talk to them and give them hugs. Parents need to be more involved in their child’s life. Then, they aren’t wondering why Billy is skipping school and doing things he shouldn’t be. This can also help avoid the 7 words us kids dread to hear: “You weren’t like this when you were younger.”

Back to the teens. It’s easy to get sucked into things when you want to be “cool” or “fit in” but you have to think to yourself…why would you want to fit in? And if you just be yourself people will think you’re cool and they might just start following you. Now, if you don’t believe me, when I say it’s great to be different, think of a school of fish.  They all look the same and they huddle together and swim in large groups. In real life this would be a bunch of kids who “fit in.” And, they might seem cool but remember schools of fish are more likely to get caught in a net or in a kid’s case, more likely to get in trouble. However, a different fish (or teen) isn’t trying to be something they’re not.

Ever heard of the saying, two birds of a feather flock together? Well if you continue to be yourself you’ll find friends who like what you like and then you won’t feel so different or weird anymore. It’s time to stop being afraid to be yourself and stand out from the crowd. I know how it feels to have people say that I’m weird because I’m different, but being different got me where I am today. And so far, I think I’m in a pretty good place. Not caring about the latest trends is a good place to start on the road to being yourself. If you didn’t notice most trends are actually made for 18+ not really for 12-16 year olds. Try and stay in your age range when it comes to clothing, as my mom has said multiple times, “THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.”  Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Trends are pretty much a sheep dog and what do sheep dogs do? They heard the sheep back into their pens, and you’re the sheep. Just think, every time you go get the latest trend you just got lumped into a pen with a bunch of other trend followers which gets rid of your individuality, and then the trend will end just in time for another one to show up to lump you with the other sheep again.

As the new year approaches, it’s time to say what message is my image saying? How is that image representing my parents? And then, have the courage to be your wonderful amazing self!

2017 is the year to be Fierce & Fearless!